Monday, November 19, 2012

“Do everything with a mind that has let go” ~ John Chan


“Do everything with a mind that has let go” ~ John Chan 
The previous quote comes from the book Meditations from the Mat by Rolf Gates. In this part of the book, Rolf discusses how new students come to a yoga class and they “wrestle” with their pride to get the postures right and they even begin to place judgments on their efforts. To sum it up, they are hard on themselves.

When an experience is humbling and challenging, we judge ourselves-our mind does not let go. It tapes the mistakes we make, it re-plays the mistakes we have made, and this can be paralyzing. When the mind cannot let go, we cannot be present. Worrying and regretting past mistakes will not change history-what’s done is done. And most definitely, worrying about what might happen will not stop what is going to happen from occurring. Worry and fear are just two ways in which our mind cannot let go. The very first time I stepped into a real yoga studio I was terrified. Scared of what people might think of me, scared I’d fall on my face, and scared I would not be able to make it through the practice. I was afraid, but I survived. I survived and fell in love. I fell in love with a practice that rescued me from insecurities, body image issues, and weakness. Not only did I survive my first yoga class, I become a yoga teacher. What if I would have allowed my fears to keep me from taking that first yoga class? So many opportunities, relationships, and friendships I would have unknowingly robbed myself of. 

Fear keeps us from pursuing our dreams. Fear tells us things that are not true...it lies to us and keeps us stagnant. Fear will not allow our minds to simply let go and it does not serve us in any way. Think about it...when we are afraid the following reactions occur: our heart rate goes up, adrenaline kicks in, and we start to experience a “fight or flight” response. It is so much easier to avoid these feelings, to become reactive, and to allow these feelings to mess with the mind! But if we learn to sit with the uncomfortable feelings, to face the discomfort no matter how formidable, we will watch it subside. Our minds are just that powerful. One of the things that makes us “regular people” different from the greatest athletes in the world is that we have made letting go an option, and they have made letting go an instinct. Rolf Gates says this about letting go, “So I encourage you: get into that canoe and ride with the river. Commit and don’t look back, before our bodies can open, they must first let go; the clenched and guarded muscles must relax. But the mind must let go first.” 


Monday, July 30, 2012

The pose begins when you want to leave it...

I often say the following phrase when I am teaching a difficult yoga class: "The pose begins when you want to leave it." I say this quote mostly because I am hoping my students will begin to realize that their yoga practice is so much more than exercise...it is a way to endure what cannot be healed in their lives. Lately, I have been longing to leave situations in my life so, so bad! But I began thinking about these situations, what they are teaching me, how they are making me stronger, and how they are humbling me without breaking my spirit. I was telling a friend the other day how I felt….”just broken.” There is no other way to describe it. I want to leave the current situation in my life right now so desperately. I want my parents to save me, my friends to save me, money to save me, work to save me, etc. But I know, right now, I am the only person who can really save me. The lessons are beginning for me in this moment of discontentment, heartbreak, and fear. I can either flee from this moment by turning to my own self-deprecating coping mechanisms of not eating, over exercising, crying, begrudging, and/or hating. Or I can stay in this moment, this “pose,” endure and surrender. I can let go of everything I cannot control and listen to my heart, which tells me to continue loving and continue finding goodness in those who hurt me. This moment will pass…with all certainty it will not last forever. But I can find peace for now. I can choose to find serenity, to look past the dirty window and see the beautiful view ahead. Wanting to leave the “pose” is actually a good thing.  Because I know at the most formidable point of the pose, right when I want to break...I will find strength I did not even know I possessed.