The pose begins when you want to leave it...

I often say the following phrase when I am teaching a difficult yoga class: "The pose begins when you want to leave it." I say this quote mostly because I am hoping my students will begin to realize that their yoga practice is so much more than exercise...it is a way to endure what cannot be healed in their lives. Lately, I have been longing to leave situations in my life so, so bad! But I began thinking about these situations, what they are teaching me, how they are making me stronger, and how they are humbling me without breaking my spirit. I was telling a friend the other day how I felt….”just broken.” There is no other way to describe it. I want to leave the current situation in my life right now so desperately. I want my parents to save me, my friends to save me, money to save me, work to save me, etc. But I know, right now, I am the only person who can really save me. The lessons are beginning for me in this moment of discontentment, heartbreak, and fear. I can either flee from this moment by turning to my own self-deprecating coping mechanisms of not eating, over exercising, crying, begrudging, and/or hating. Or I can stay in this moment, this “pose,” endure and surrender. I can let go of everything I cannot control and listen to my heart, which tells me to continue loving and continue finding goodness in those who hurt me. This moment will pass…with all certainty it will not last forever. But I can find peace for now. I can choose to find serenity, to look past the dirty window and see the beautiful view ahead. Wanting to leave the “pose” is actually a good thing.  Because I know at the most formidable point of the pose, right when I want to break...I will find strength I did not even know I possessed.