“Do everything with a mind that has let go” ~ John Chan

I read the above quote from the book Meditations from the Mat by Rolf Gates.  In this part of the book, Rolf discusses how new students come to a yoga class and they “wrestle” with their pride to get the postures right and they even begin to place judgments on their efforts.  To sum it up, they are hard on themselves.

When an experience is humbling and challenging, we judge ourselves-our mind does not let go.  It re-plays the mistakes we have made, it records the mistakes we are making and this can be paralyzing. When the mind cannot let go, we cannot be present.  Worrying and regretting past mistakes will not change history-what’s done is done.  Worrying about what might happen will not stop the inevitable from occurring.  Worry and fear are just two ways in which our mind cannot let go.

The very first time I stepped into a real yoga studio I was so scared. Scared of what people might think of me, scared I’d fall on my face (and I have many times…fell on my head in practice this morning), scared I would not be able to make it through the practice (I made it about 15 minutes and was in child’s pose) but I survived my first yoga experience despite my fears.  Not only did I survive but my very first yoga teacher has become one of my best friends.  Fear keeps us from pursuing our dreams.  Fear tells us things that are not true…it lies to us and keeps us stagnant.  Fear simply won’t allow our minds to let go.

I have always been afraid to Chakrasana in ashtanga.  It’s basically a backward rolling somersault.  I would roll back with my legs over shoulders, toes touching the floor and literally put the brakes on.  My mind took over from there: this is too hard, my neck is going to break, I’ll fall on my head, I'm not strong enough, etc. One night, I couldn’t sleep.  I wasn't so much bothered by the fact that I could not Chakrasana, but it bothered me that I was scared to Chakrasana.  It drove me insane in ashtanga when my teacher would call out, “Chakrasana…or not.”  It drove me insane because I was in the “or not” category!   So at 2 a.m. I rolled out my yoga mat (yes, I do stuff like that), my mind let go and I did a Chakrasana…and another…and another! In the primary series of ashtanga, Chakrasana occurs twice.  The first is after Supta Padangusthasana (big toe posture on your back) and the second after Setu Bandhasana (bridge posture). There is also a Chakrasana in the finishing sequence after Uttana Padasana (extended leg posture).  It is fun to Chakrasana! It is also a reminder to me of what I can accomplish when my mind lets go.

Rolf Gates says this about letting go, “So I encourage you: get into that canoe and ride with the river.  Commit and don’t look back, before our bodies can open, they must first let go; the clenched and guarded muscles must relax.  But the mind must let go first.”